Five minutes before I took this picture a stranger tapped me on the shoulder and called me a fag.
Like I didn’t know, dude.
Me
- 34, Sarf Londoner, native Northerner, she/they, funny as hell, filthy as fuck
- skin – all over my body, as I believe is conventional. Also dry, dehydrated and sun damaged
- drink of choice – whisky and ginger or vodka martini Gibson
- lover and a fighter
- style heroes – Cat Marnell, Jame Gumb (don’t, I will explain!), Brian Molko, Holtzmann
- I really fucking love a hashtag. #notevenironically
Blog
Subjects will include
- Snails and how they can crawl all over my face in a mucusy orgy
- Which sheet mask makes me look like I’ve slept more than 45 minutes this weekend?
- If I see another TonyMoly mask, people will die
- Should I stop putting so many products in my hair? The excess weight is making my neck hurt.
Subjects will not include
- Pretty summer/spring/winter/Armageddon make up tutorials
- Self tanning – when you want to look and smell like a slightly overdone biscuit
- Artistic shots of bottles carefully strewn over a white fluffy towel
- Anti aging products (unless I buy a DeLorean) because TIME MARCHES ON and YES WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE
Pictures
If I have accidentally used a picture of yours and you would rather I didn’t, contact me and it will be taken down. And then I’ll spend my next therapy session telling my therapist I’m a fucking idiot and I hate myself.
