chest binding and how to avoid peeing yourself in public

Ah, internet. A constant source of amusement and rage. I was scrolling through Instagram today and saw something that instantly made me get very. fucking. shrill.

I cannot believe people are still releasing tutorials on how to bind your chest with Ace bandages or, and I pause for you to wince, duct tape.

Are you kids trying to kill me?

As Tyra Banks once said, when my grandmother yells like this it’s because she loves me.

First off, I feel you. For whatever reason, you want your chest to be flatter and that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re trans. I gotcha.

But I cannot express enough how bad an idea binding with Ace bandages or duct tape is. Let me paint you a picture.

for the avoidance of doubt. no.

You’re in work or school, feeling good, looking sharp. The bandages are kinda tight but that’s how it works right? You can’t eat very much or drink much but that’s also more than fine.

Then you have to run to catch a door before it closes. After climbing stairs. And fuck, isn’t it hot today? It’s fine, just catch your breath.

Except you can’t because if you use bandages, the only way they work is to CONSTRICT YOUR LUNGS. As soon as you can’t take that first breath, your body starts to panic, creating a vicious cycle which ends up with you passing out on the floor in public.

Do you know some people piss themselves when they faint? Do you want to be the person who finds that out in public?

Oh, don’t worry, people around will help! They’re going to loosen your clothing and try to help your airflow and… what the fuck is that, Carol? Is that… duct tape? Shit. What a weirdo. Fuck, is that piss?

… what’s that smell Carol?

Honestly, that’s not even the worse case scenario. If you move too fast then there is a real chance your bindings are going to just… snap loose. Boom. Hello Titty City.

boob boom

I’m not trying to be mean but I know that telling you homemade bindings are bad for you won’t work. Loads of things that are necessary to survive are bad for you when you’re queer and maybe young or maybe poor.

So I won’t tell you about the cracked ribs or the permenant spinal issues. I’m just going to leave you with the picture of you, lying unconscious on the floor, covered in piss while fucking Carol stares at your chest.

There are loads of binder swap groups, but if you’re looking to buy here is my advice.

1. Don’t size down, you’ll kill yourself trying to get it off. In fact, I am shocked more people don’t die struggling to get a binder off or GOD FORBID, pull it on after a shower.

via https://oddsocket.deviantart.com (ears are optional)

2. How to put this delicately. If you’re American or European, buy American or European. Those Chinese eBay bargains make great dolls clothes.

3. Don’t bind when it’s hot, don’t bind when you sleep, don’t bind when you exercise. Two of these run the risk of public pissing and dude, yah have to let your skin breathe sometimes so why not do it at night.

4. Hand wash them, don’t be lazy son

5. Set expectations. I cannot stress this enough. Dolly can’t be Shane. You have to be fine with that.

I can highly recommend gc2b.com. Nope, not cheap like those itchy eBay knockoffs but guaranteed not to cause uncontrollable public urinaton.

Don’t hurt yourself, is what I’m saying. Be good to yourself and the meat suit you have to wear. It’s hard, I know, but you can’t be awesome and do amazing things if you’re the dude who pissed themselves in church.

me me me me me · queer

drunk TED talk – how jame gumb saved my life


*That* Jame Gumb.

So my RSI is a bastard today, hence my audio experiment. Please note the following.

1. I am not a professional anything 

2. I have a stutter which makes me super anxious. Try not to mention it THANKS BABES.

3. Silence of the Lambs is DEEPLY problematic and transphobic and I wish I didn’t have such an obsession with it.

4. Trigger warnings for suicide. YAH REALLY. 

5. I do not support the wearing of women’s skin.

jame gumb, my childhood role model. PROBLEMATIC.

Clicky clicky here to listen to my dumb voice

Stats referenced in audio:

“Nearly half (48 per cent) of trans people under 26 said they had attempted suicide, and 30 per cent said they had done so in the past year, while 59 per cent said they had at least considered doing so”

Nearly half (45 per cent) of LGBT pupils – including 64 per cent of trans pupils – are bullied for being LGBT in Britain’s schools. This is down from 55 per cent of lesbian, gay and bi pupils who experienced bullying because of their sexual orientation in 2012 and 65 per cent in 2007

More than four in five trans young people have self-harmed, as have three in five lesbian, gay and bi young people who aren’t trans”


me me me me me · queer

let’s fucking do it – all right all right

As a person with a brain and eyes and an internet connection, I am a huge fan of Tracy from www.fanserviced-b.com. Even though we have utterly different skin types, I read her blog religiously. I may also make notes. Maybe. If that’s not weird.


Tracy recently wrote a post called Why I Think You Should Start A Korean Beauty Blog. Read it, dudes, it’s a fucking delight.

Starting this blog has been something I’ve talked about for months but never actually pushed the button. But now Tracy gave me tacit approval, well. Here I am.

I really love skincare. I really hate the beauty industry. Or rather, the beauty industry hates me. Either explicitly or implicitly, the message is, this is not for you. This is for real girls.

I can’t think why.

But, you know what? Fuck the beauty industry. Fuck the counter assistants who openly laugh at me, or on one memorable occasion, refer to me as “it”. As in, turning to her coworker, smirking and saying just loudly enough for me to hear, “I doubt it’s going to buy anything, watch it”.

Even online, beauty communities talk about their totes  adorbs boyfies in sheet masks, or scream, “my eyebrows make me look like a MAN!”.

The assumption is, if you’re here you want to look pretty, young and fuckable. Here are the products you can buy to make that happen!




This is possibly a terrible error. But if you’re smirking, this isn’t for you. It’s for anyone who has ever felt excluded by the “beauty industry”. It’s for the young gay boy who wants to feel pretty. The trans woman who is terrified about going for a facial. The gender non conforming person who just wants nicer skin, godfuckingdamit.

Or if you’re as straight as a ruler but fed up of the unfair standards expected of women (and increasingly men) by an industry that treats aging as an offence against nature, come the fuck in and sit down. Bar is open, first round is on you.

So thanks Tracy. This is all your fault.